And then my heart broke. A lot.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it but my daughter Cielo has some expressive language delay. She has come a long way since kindergarten (when she came out of her screen not saying a word other than screaming NOOO at her SLP) and even since the beginning of grade 1. She loves letters, sounds and reading and is ALWAYS talking to me and her family.

At school she still tends to be quiet and although she loves her friends (what she calls every person birth to 18) I’ve often worried about her making friends. I don’t care about popularity, naturally I would like her to be more popular than I was (I was an NDN nerd, not the homecoming queen) but I want her to have a real best friend.

This morning I was fixing Cielo’s hair and practicing with her how she would greet everyone and she said, “____ isn’t my friend. That’s too bad right mommy. I’m ok right?”

I could see on her face she wasn’t ok. She couldn’t (wouldn’t?) tell me what (if) something happened just that ____ wasn’t her best friend. She said it simply, “nothing mean mommy I can just tell.”

Maybe I should be happy; she used to be oblivious to social cues. Now I just wish she could go back to when she thought everyone was her best friend.

10 thoughts on “And then my heart broke. A lot.

  1. Skye, my children are currently in middle school which means I’m in essence in middle school, but worse since I think it’s harder to watch a loved on go through a tough experience than have it yourself. My words of wisdom, that I wish I could follow myself, are to let go of those mean kids you have no control over and focus on being the amazing port in the storm that you are. You are who she will return to for support, encouragement and even Thanksgiving time after time. Hang in there, she’ll take her cues from you! Best, Kim

  2. (((Hug))) I know exactly how you feel. Having your baby come to you and wondering if she is okay because so-and-so doesn’t like her is heartrending…I’ve lived it…I’m still living it. The best we can do is make sure they know we love them unconditionally, they are perfect in every way to us, and know that they will be loving, caring, people as they grow.

  3. I think every mother experiences this. Kids can be unkind. My son was made fun of in middle & high school. He still has a few issues from it. Although we would love to never have our children experience these harsh elements in life it will happen soon or later. Learning to let the negativity go now will help her so much in the long run. As the other girls have advised here, teach her she is not defined by others definition of what’s good and valuable.
    Hugs to you “Mom” today!

  4. I have a 8 year old without a significant speech delay, as well. There is some fancy title for it, which now escapes me. She is one of the most loving little girls, and thinks everyone is her friend as well. My heart breaks for you because I can identify. I wish her only the very best.

  5. Having a significantly sensitive child is awesome and heartwrenching. I know this well. I guess my mom does too. The good news is that I wouldn’t give up my sensitivity for anything…most days. And people almost always love me for it now. Hugs to you both..

I see you speak the language of awesome. Awesome.

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