I loved Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and have been enjoying chatting about it with our #BloggessBook club on twitter. It was hilarious when @speechtechie and I realized we had both been ejected out of moving vehicles during our childhoods. The stories are funny now, or at least we thought so. I promised @atklingensmith that I would write a blog post about my experience so here we go…
It was a beautiful sunny day and I was feeling grand. I had a brand new aqua Cabbage Patch jogging suit on and I had enjoyed a Happy Meal for lunch. I hadn’t gone to school that day because I had been at a dental appointment (which was why I had eaten McDonald’s…this was a treat I mostly only had if I had a medical appointment.) I rode along with my parents and my younger brother Wilton (known then only as Macho because he was HUGE) in the truck as I clutched my awesome book bag (a brown corduroy briefcase type thing I borrowed from my mom because I thought it made me look older.) I remember sitting against the door looking out the window at the trees.
Next thing I knew I was looking up at the sky, unable to catch my breath. When I finally could take a breath I realized my mouth was full of mud (first thought – MY CLEAN TEETH!) and when I glanced around I saw I was lying in a mud puddle in the ditch. (SECOND THOUGHT – OH NOES MY JOGGING SUIT!!!) My dad checked if I could wiggle my toes and move my fingers (he used to be an orderly) and when he saw I could he lifted me up and carried me to the truck, where my mom held me on her lap for the final kilometer to our house. They put me on their bed and left me to rest. My brother was horrified, he stayed with me the whole time and told me, “please don’t be dead or crippled.” I sent him to make me a snack and get me a drink because I ain’t no fool.
My mom said it was so sudden, one second I was talking and the next I was gone. They heard a hard sickening THUMP (I had flown out clutching my beloved borrowed briefcase and had whacked it against the side of the truck) and thought that it was my head hitting the truck. My dad jumped out of the truck and it went into the opposite ditch. Oddly (as if flying out of a truck wasn’t odd enough) I was still holding the briefcase. My dad looked at the area later and said it looked like I hit the treeline (broken branches) and bounced into the ditch.
My dad was furious with himself and the truck and welded the door shut. Later he realized that was also unsafe so he sold the truck because he still couldn’t stand to look at it.
I’m pretty sure I’m fine and had no lasting effects but quite honestly, my childhood was full of crazy, horrifyingly awesome things. It’s a miracle I escaped unscathed but I wouldn’t change anything. It formed my twistedcrazy eccentric personality. Then again, I would change one little thing…I think my mom threw my Cabbage Patch jogging suit and the briefcase away because I never saw them again. Uncool. They were both super sweet and awesome.
(like what I did there? with the french? tres sexy non?)
This is me participating in The Un-Mom’s loverly meme…brace yourself to be covered in the awesome. Seriously, you should maybe put on an old shirt so you don’t get anything on yourself.
Ew. I kinda just grossed myself out.
Yesterday my blackberry was blowing up with messages from incredulous people. Why you may ask…because my husband thought it would be hilarious to post my Facebook status as, “I think I’m pregnant again.” I can’t decide if I’m more amused or horrified. The amusement and horrification is two-fold; 1) he actually hacked my status and 2) people actually believed him. (Did I mention that our son Diego is only 5 weeks old?) Any suggestions as to what I should change his status to…since I know all his passwords. *insert evil plan laugh*
I bought some ground sausage and I plan to make this later. Hope it turns out ok.
there are no words
Have you seen the trailer for that movie The Town? (I think Ben Affleck is in it.) Those rubber nun masks those dudes are wearing creep me out every time I see it.
I like Moms (even before I was one), I like Zombies…so I thought I’d try “Random Tuesday Thoughts” by The Un Mom.
I’ve had “Ebony & Ivory” stuck in my head all day. (I typed “Ebony and IRONY” not once but twice. True story.)
How sad that I over-enjoyed doing my laundry today…I actually caught myself smelling the fresh clothes. I totally looked over my shoulder to make sure nobody saw me.
My newborn is already 26 days old. I have had approx 26 minutes of sleep since then. (I’m exaggerating a bit.) I’m a mother of 3 kids under 4 years old now (Every time I say that it simultaneously makes me happy and freaks me out a little.)
I wish I had a slushie from 7-11 right meow.
This is my first shared meme on this blog. I feel all warm and fuzzy right now.
My husband gets sexier when he gets up with one of the kids. Just now my 2 year old woke up crying and he went to check on him. Muy caliente! (Oh yeah, my husband Nehemias is Mexican.)
I cannot fall asleep without cracking my toes. I really hope I don’t end up with toe arthritis.
GOLDEN GIRLS IS STILL ONE OF MY FAV SHOWS EVER! I think someone needs to be keeping an eye on Betty White, and by keeping an eye I mean KEEP HER ALIVE. I cannot lose my last Girl.
In closing, here is a picture of Diego and I after we had the kids portrait photos taken.
Diego is in the mossbag my mom swaddled me in 33 *koffkoff* years ago